Beerlandia: Tsingtao Beer Export

You ever have that thing you eat that doesn’t taste that great, is even worse for you, yet you keep going back for more either out of habit or nostalgic appeal? Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to a little adult beverage called Tsingtao. So many good times and so many hangover noodles, and Tsingtao was the epicenter of it all.

This is the first beer I’m reviewing for Passport Beerlandia, so I saw it only fitting to pay my respects to Tsingtao, a very, very average beer that was there for me in the good times and the bad while I spent arguably too many years in a frozen little corner of northeast China. I’m in the States now, so the imported version will have to do.

Without further ado…TSINGTAO!!!

Piss yellow. The definition of a piss-yellow beer. Quite fizzy, yet I had to rush after pouring to catch any sort of head on-camera. Just a light foam that dissipates after 20 seconds. Knowing how refreshingly cold it is makes it look a lot better. 

Beer: Tsingtao
Brewery: Tsingtao Brewery Co., Ltd. 
Country: China
Style: American Adjunct Lager
ABV: 4.8%
Beerlandia Advisory: Not the beer you deserve, but the beer you need.

It smells a bit like sweet corn, hay, and the unmistakable scent of malt, which is not too surprising. It’s the typical adjunct lager smell with a touch of sweetness. Sweetness is going to be a theme here, guys. 

Hmm. How to describe the taste of good ole Tsingtao. The taste of malt definitely comes through with that strong note of toffee. Hops are there, but that’s barely a compliment. It’s a very sweet lager. If you session this - and you can take my word for it - it very quickly becomes liquid bread. You lose the sweetness and it’s just yeast. However, it’s not all that unpleasant. 

“‘Member drinking a case of these in one night and spending the next day wanting to die?”

This is what makes the beer, in my opinion. A Tsingtao is best drunken ice-cold for that very pleasant carbonated mouthfeel. Step aside Miller High Life, this is the true champagne of beers. It’s bubbly enough, anyway. It clings to your tongue like a little blanket of smiley face emojis. I picture them like Memberberries from South Park, except bubbles. “‘Member drinking a case of these in one night and spending the next day wanting to die?” “I ‘member!”

I’m going to say something controversial here. Bearing in mind this is the imported version of Tsingtao and the domestic Tsingtao in China is VERY different (worse) - this is the quintessential shitty-to-mid beer that you get ice cold and have a nice session with. Granted, the sweet malty taste will get kind of old, but it’s nothing you can’t break up with a little snack. And if I’m drinkin’, I’m snackin’. I wonder if that could catch on?

The Champagne of Beers

Okay, I take what I said back. It just gets really sickly sweet after a while. I don’t really recall the Chinese version being this sweet, so I’m kind of excited to compare the two once I get back that way. My theory is that the Chinese version is basically just the PBR or Milwaukee’s Best of China, so they added more malt to sweeten it up for foreign palettes. I don’t care, Tsingtao is still the true Champagne of Beers. ◉

Written by Seth Barham